Journal Entries

I'm at a laundromat right now, waiting for my clothes to spin. One of the side effects of moving into a new place is that our new place doesn't have washer/dryer appliances. We've now ordered a set, but we won't have it until the end of the week. I've never used a laundromat before, except the time that I went for funsies with Carrie and Fav in December. But even then, I didn't play with the machines.

Anyways, I think the exhaustion of the entire last month is finally hitting me in conjunction with that post-con depression. Back to talking about my trip, which was one of the shining parts of the aforementioned Entire Last Month.

2/13 - SNORKELING

We woke up bright and early - I guess not so much bright, because the sun wasn't up yet. But we woke up early, that's for sure. Today was snorkeling day. We gathered just before dawn to go on a touristy tour group to Molokini crater to swim at the reef with the fishies. I was still feeling pretty shitty. I was snotty and coughing and surviving off Sudafed. Andrew and Alyza decided to rent a GoPro in an underwater container so we could record things, and it ended up being so worth it.

On the trip there, we saw some whales. We had accidentally come during whale season, when all the mommy whales came back up here to give birth. There were many mother whales and babies practicing their breaching.

Andrew was a competitive swimmer, so he's super comfortable in open water. Alyza Can Not Swim. Do not let them tell you otherwise. They are learning and can do some things, but their first instinct when anything happens is to panic-grab the person next to them. This is fine when it's Andrew, who's worked as a lifeguard. This is not okay when you're some random chucklefuck like me, who can swim Well Enough to survive but not save someone else. It is also extremely counterproductive to try to grab ME of all people, because I am just an anchor. I have little to no buoyancy because of my huge ass bones. All this to say, Alyza and I had little float belts to keep us from drowning.

The goal of snorkeling is to wear the snorkel so you can swim at the surface and breathe while keeping your head down the entire time. The only one of us who actually utilized this was Alyza. Andrew felt the snorkel actually got in the way and he wanted to go deeper anyways; my infected lungs were so shit that I literally couldn't suck and expel air from the tube lol It was way easier to remove the snorkel and hold my breath. We were all, however, equipped with fins to propel us.

Once we were in the water, it started to hit me that this is truly one of those once-in-a-lifetime trips. I think it was the crystal clear water and being able to see schools of tropical fish swimming around in lively coral. It's one of those things that a city girl who grew up poor only ever saw in books or educational programs. And now here I was in open water in one of the most desirable tourist locations staring down thirty feet or more to the ocean floor. Thank god Alyza and Andrew got that GoPro. There was a professional camera man who worked for the tour taking pics, too, but now we got to take our own pics. These memories Needed to be recorded. I kept thinking about how sick I was in the airport, or the barely conscious state I was in sitting on my apartment floor trying to pack the last of my things. I was going to make this trip or die trying, and it was finally hitting how worth it it was.

I still want to write a journal breakdown of my trip to Canada and down to Texas, but Hawaii is fresh in my mind right now. I have a six-hour layover, and I want to use it.

I've only finished one flight, and I saw my friends earlier today, but I'm already feeling the post-con depression :( I know I'll see my friends later this year, because we plan to table together at a con; but it always sucks after having a splendid two weeks of having friends irl, and then they are gone. I hope this all feels a little less bad when I have more friends irl close to me that I can hang out with ;~;

Huge shout out to my friends for documenting this trip both in notes and on their IG stories. I was mostly ill for the first half of it and in a different dimension, so. Lol.

Anyways!!!

PRETEXT

Alyza, Andrew, and I decided let's have a big vacation together. And who am I, if not vacations Linn. This has been the culmination of months of planning and many uphill battles. But god dammit, I was going to go on this trip or die trying. Emphasis on the die trying part.

2/08 - TRAVEL TO HAWAII

I left for this trip in the middle of Enzy and I moving to a new house. I also left for this trip in the middle of having God's worse flu. Fav had it first, and she gave it to me as a treat. She had visited to help with the move, only for us to both get knocked to low efficiency with The Illness(tm). With all the moving, I wasn't really given the chance to heal lol. I was literally sitting up to sleep because if I laid down, I'd start coughing and be unable to sleep. It made it really difficult to help Enzy move. He is a real homie because he helped finish the move while I fucked off to Hawaii.

Throughout the airport journey, it was truly a situation of "I'm wearing this mask for YOU, not me." I was barely conscious for a flight that was probably ten hours, with the layovers included. My head was swelling from the inside-out, due to my insane congestion. I was snotty. I kept coughing. No amount of Robitussin or Sudafed could stifle the symptoms entirely. I looked like I was dying, and I felt like it.

My friends and I had the same last layover in Honolulu. We had different airlines, but we got to hang out a little bit before going off on our own ways. They got to see firsthand how shit I looked, and they fed me pity french fries to try to heal me. I had basically not eaten for the week before the trip because my congestion was so bad, my head and teeth pain prevented me from having an appetite. Also I kept coughing so much that I'd throw up, and I wasn't particularly keen on throwing up food on top of everything. The motto was "can't throw up if there's nothing in my stomach".

Andrew and Alyza got to Hilo before I did, even though their travel was over 24 hours jesus christ, and they picked up the rental car (Chevy Malibu). They also picked up some grocery store poke and a watermelon at my request. We found out that groceries are super expensive there, even compared to where we live. And we all live in relatively expensive locations. We did a lot of resting from our travels. I also had my horrendous illness to contend with. My Robitussin also blew up on the airplane, so I needed new cough medicine. Not at the moment, though. Big island Hawaii was very spaced out. It was basically a 30-minute straight drive to anywhere we wanted to go. Hardly any turns at all. I'm super glad we got the car.

The Airbnb we stayed at was a little house in basically a six-house street. I cannot overstate the amount of greenery and space around us. The air was also super moist because it is the tropics.

2/09 - DINOSAURS

Our first island would be Big Hawaii.

I was still horrifically dying.

Alyza wanted loco moco, so we went on another 30-minute drive down a straight road to find a breakfast place. The portions were insanely huge. Like, we're all American, but the portions blew away our mainland asses. Andrew and Alyza got loco moco, and I got poke. I definitely could not finish it.

So dinosaurs are kind of a thing on Hawaii because they filmed parts of Jurassic Park there. After we got breakfast, we went to the 'Imiloa Astronomy Center. They had a lot of dinosaur and space things. There were many dinosaur animatronics. In general, the place was geared towards kids. Like you could color in your own dinosaur and then scan it into the machine to watch it walk around in 3D. It was actually pretty cool watching Andrew and Alyza color in 2D dinosaurs with crayons and then actually see the pattern reflected in the 3D model walking around the TV.

My favorite interactive exhibit was the one where you could build your own dinosaur skeleton with a bunch of bone parts laying around. We saw a kid build this insane dinosaur with two heads and were inspired to do so as well. Due to the fact that I was dying, I sat on the side while Andrew and Alyza built a three-headed, six-legged monstrosity that was all neck and hip and eternal suffering. It truly didn't ask to be born.

Then we went to watch a movie at the planetarium about the T. Rex. It was about three kids finding a teenaged T. Rex fossil that was in the middle of eating a duck bill dinosaur. The documentary footage was interspersed with information and animations about the T. Rex's life cycle. The T. Rex as currently imagined is a lot more chunky and stubby than the image I was presented as a child. It's become an absolute unit in recent years.

2/10 - WEENIE HUT JR. BEACH

According to the notes Andrew made and Alyza's IG story, we explored Hilo a bit and went to the beach this day. A lot of my memory is unfortunately SHOT due to my illness, so hopefully Alyza and Andrew can help fill in my Swiss cheese brain more. I'll update this if I remember more.

I think this must have been the day that we went down to this market and got Viet food, checked out an antique shop, and Alyza got their mochi. I checked Alyza's IG stories, and they posted the mochi on 2/11 before we went up the volcano.

We found a little beach that was closed in with rocks. The water was not the typical warm Hawaii water you'd expect, but there were little children splashing around and I wasn't bouta let them be tougher than me. We all took turns going in pairs around on the water, while one person watched our stuff. It was super shallow, and the floor was mostly rocks. I got to laugh at Alyza screaming because they're sensitive to textures on their feet, and the gravel-plus-rocks combo was NOT pleasant for them lol

2/11 - VOLCANO

We spent all day at Volcanoes National Park!! We started out on the Devastation trail. It was a straight path up to the closest cliff to the spewing of the volcano. There were multiple stops to peek over the edge at the land scorched by the lavaflow. The trip was difficult for me, as my lungs were still weak. Thankfully, Alyza and Andrew were playing Pokemon GO and took breaks, so Linn could catch their breath. I also thought they were walking slower for my benefit, but they were doing this wack thing called "enjoying a leisurely walk". Once we got to the top, there was a Gym, and Andrew and Alyza put their shiny camerupt and Hisuian typhlosion there. The volcano cow and fire ferret got to sit at the top of the volcano.

Then we went down a lot and went into this naturey hole that led into a tunnel. It was very wet. The trees and grasses were beautiful.

Then we went on a different trail, the name of which escapes me :( It was a walk from one parking lot to another through a forested area that gave another POV to the land annihilated by the lavaflow. It was super cool seeing the fertile post-lava dirt spawn new trees. We walked back along the trail to get back.

We'd heard that the place got super cool at night, so we went and got food and supplies before coming back after sunset. And boy, did we hear right. Watching molten earth spew from the depths of the planet is fucking insane against the night sky. We low-key got lost in the pitch black darkness of a national park trying to get to one of the parking lots. But Alyza was super big-brained when they realized that we could use Andrew's camerupt as a waypoint back to the closest point to view the volcano. We made it back up there, and peeked over the edge nearest the pairkng lot. It was cool, but Alyza said to hold on a second - maybe if we walk all the way to the top, it'd be even cooler. It was pretty windy by this point, and I was pretty dying, so Andrew and I waited in the car while Alyza went to go check. They called us like two minutes later to get the fuck over to them.

From the higher vantage point, we could see active lava flowing down into the cooled magma. I'm not a good enough writer to describe things like being in awe of the power of nature. I also don't have good enough pictures, but after Alyza and Andrew upload their pictures, I could potentially come back and put in a few photos. I don't think a picture can really capture it either. I've seen documentaries and photos online, but nothing compares to seeing it in person. Standing up there, freezing our asses off, watching lava sludge itself lazily across a delta of literal fire. It's insane to even describe it as "lazily", because the destructive strength of it leveled a valley. The smaller streams of magma altogether looked like a city at night out of an airplane window. Andrew grabbed the beach blanket we used at the beach for babies to wrap around us and protect us from the wind. Andrew and Alyza told me it stank, but my sinuses were completely blocked and I couldn't smell it :)

We headed home after that. Back at the Airbnb, we started watching X-Men '97.

2/12 - TRAVEL TO MAUI

At some point on Big Hawaii, we went to Walmart and got a beach umbrella, flip flops, and touristy straw hats. I brought my real flip flops, but I was worried I'd lose them at the beach. I'll move this to the correct day if I learn what day it was lol

So now it was time to do the two hours drive to the other airport on Big Hawaii to fly over to Maui. It was like $30/ea cheaper if we booked the far airport from us. PLUS, this was the first time we'd be seeing the other side of the island. AND we got to wake up a lil later. At this point, I was well enough to drive if Andrew wanted to switch off, but he said it was fine. We drove through different types of nature going through the island.

At Kona airport is where we first encountered how strict Hawaiian airports are. The dude at the bag check didn't want me to bring my beach umbrella as a carry-on, and he marked Alyza's and Andrew's check-on baggage as overweight for being one pound over. Anyways, I still brought my beach umbrella through TSA, and they didn't give a shit lmao

We got to Maui and got our new car. It was... a Dodge Charger... Andrew was still driving it, and it oozed douchebag vibes. Absolutely miserable. Why did the engine need to go vroom to only go up to 30mph. Do Charger drivers really need their dicks stroked that bad.

The answer is yes.

After dropping off our stuff at the Airbnb, we went to our first real beach!! Beach good.

We went directly from the beach to dinner. A running theme for this trip is us being filthy tourists who just go to dinner in our swimsuits. Anyways, we thought it'd be funny to go to a pita place because Andrew comes from a culture with very similar food. It was actually pretty mid. We ordered hummus for appetizer, and Alyza asked for extra olive oil to make it a bit better. Andrew got what was basically a kofta burger. Alyza and I got pastas.

When we got back to the Airbnb, Andrew took off his shorts in the middle of hallway, and a bunch of sand fell out of his ass. He had to vacuum it up. Alyza and I took to using paper towels as ghetto indoor slippers.

It was honestly a pretty long day considering we also took a flight. We had an even longer day the next day, so it was important for us to get our sleep. Alyza and Andrew got the room, and I got the couch, which was very in-character for me.

I've been going at this for a few hours now, so I'm going to take a break. I'll delete this and continue if I go back to this before my flight. If not, I'll make a new post as a part two. Honk shoo mimimimi

I do this thing where I'll drink a fun drink a lot, before I get bored of it and need to switch to something else. It seems that the last time I updated this journal I was in a tea cycle. I just started drinking tea again last night.

Happy new year. New year, new me. Just wanted to do a few quick updates on things.

I want to make a long journal entry to discuss the trip I did in the latter half of December to go see Carrie and drive with Fav down to Texas, but it feels like such a large undertaking lol I want to be able to do it right. I might have to do it in multiple entries, so I can really dig into it.

This morning, I've been thinking a lot about some disconnects I've had with my online community, but I don't yet know how to put it into words.

I've started listening to Wendigoon and Meatcanyon talk about creepypastas.

I accidentally put Enzy's heavy whipping cream in my tea instead of half-and-half. Mmmm. Creamy.

I've told practically everyone now, but I recently quit my job. I'd been planning to quit for a while now, but I was hoping to find another job before I did. Then, they lied to my face and tried to guilt-trip me for something, and I was like, nah, fuck this actually. I was able to tell them off in person, and it was extremely satisfying for both me and everyone else in the room.

It was a little disheartening, though, seeing everyone say don't retaliate. I know my friends just wanted to look out for me, but this was the perfect opportunity given that there were no stakes to my holding in this industry. I'm glad one of my bestest pals supported me and even immediately gave me ideas on how to make it as miserable as possible for them lol

Now that I'm a jobless leftist, I have time to maybe do creative things again while I look for another job. I'm still having to re-adjust my sleep schedule, though; it's slowly shifting.

I noticed that when I'm feeling down, I tend to get back into anime. Last time I got really into Golden Kamuy. This time, I binged all of the Dan Da Dan anime, and then I read all of the manga in one day. I don't think I'm gonna go apeshit over it like I do Golden Kamuy, though. None of the characters make me insane, probably because they're all children. Unfortunately, despite being Loli Linn(TM), I don't get emotionally invested into characters younger than me the way I do with characters around my age or older. I'm a fake lolicon... I'm sure 13yo me would've gone apeshit over the characters. This isn't to say it's bad. While it does have some conventional shonen jump serialization flaws, both the manga and anime are very fun, and it seems to be the anime that's getting the full pussy-in action sakuga treatment for this season. It's also subversive in a way that isn't annoying in the way that isekai titles fill me with an unbridled rage. A girl MC who's both smart and useful. The guy is the love interest for once.

It's just nice to get into something both ongoing and with good animation, because it really sucked how bad the GK anime was. Plus, by the time I got into it, the manga was over. I'm enjoying all the new manga made by people who grew up on the same stuff as me. And this will make it really easy to make merch for a popular anime for Anime Ottawa.

Unrelated, but my UBlock isn't working right on YouTube right now, so it's making watching vids a bit miserable. I wonder if I just need to update it or if I need to swap to a different ad blocker. Very funny that one of the ads I keep getting is an ad for an ad blocker lol...

As I'm no longer working a 9-5, I'm also picking up more dinner duties.

I also mistakenly called Fields of Mistria Mistholme in a previous entry. I was informed that I'd mixed up the name with a podcast oops.

Things I'm listening to:
- Mani Mani - r-906
- Otonoke - Creepy Nuts (the Dandadan op)
- APT. - ROSE & Bruno Mars
- WANNABE (Remix) (ft. Nicki Minaj) - ITZY (remix by revelmixes)

I've started playing Stardew Valley, and at the moment, I'm like "Hmm, will there be more violence."

Also tonight I saw Enzy making a grilled cheese, and he puts mayonnaise on the outside. This is a brand new science to me, and I have now tried it as well. Usually, I'm a butter guy, but I am always excited to learn of his white people sciences.

It was good.

My other new hobby today is watching caving accident videos. It doesn't give me anxiety because I would never go into a cave that isn't well-lit with handrails and fit for accident-prone small children. Being a pussy will save my life.

Unrelated to mayonnaise, something I've genuinely been thinking about is my friendship with the person I've been hanging out with. A couple months ago I started hanging out with a local queer fellow I met on a dating app, and I've been hanging out with them every week. However, I feel like I don't super click with them... Like they're a perfectly fine person and very chill. I have never had a single issue with them. On the contrary, I think they're really cool. But personality-wise, I don't feel the urge to go crazy, go stupid around them, which is really what I'm looking for. Going to the UK with my cool pals made me think about what I want in my relationships. It always does!! It always makes me think about how much I appreciate the silly mentally ill people in my phone. And how infrequently I am capable of vibing with people irl.

But yeah, so I've been thinking about how much I want to continue hanging out with this person :( I like being able to hang out with them, but I'm not a super social person if people aren't the ideal vibe for me. I know there are certain types of people who can derive social energy from hanging out with anyone, but I am not one of those people. I want to keep them in my life, but I don't think I can commit to hanging out every week. So I guess I must figure out how I want to break this to them...

Also unrelated to mayonnaise, I want to finally update my About page, but what am I even supposed to put on that.

This is my first weekend back from the trip. I haven't gone to my secondary job in like... four weekends now ;~; And I feel bad, but also it makes sense that I've been taking time to pack, then I was gone, and now I need time off to recover for my mental health. I feel BAD because I'm not MAKING MONEY.

But I'm sitting at my computer right now, and I have other stuff to work on.

To do list:
- Regency calendar piece
- Jonelias TWO sketch
- Work on my book
- Plan merch for Anime Ottawa

I'm thinking of getting into Stardew Valley. I love Minecraft, but also the FPS hurts my brain sometimes. And I want some variety. Does anyone else have suggestions? How is Mistholme going?

I also would like recommendations for tea blends!! I've been obsessed with the tea from the Manchester tea place, and I want some other funny tea blends. In fact, I've been so obsessed that I may have overdrank it this morning and got over-caffeinated. Then I went to bed with a headache and dipping blood sugar and woke up super anxious. Anyways, I'm drinking the rest of it right now.

Testing this. I'm updating this on my tablet rn. It's a bit difficult to copy code over.

test another line

LMAOOOOO

Hold up. The more I look into this plot of land thing I've been turning into a bit, the more it actually sounds like a good idea. It's actually not that far from civilation, and it seems cheaper to buy it and build on it than buying an established home. Will look more into this.

Don't have as much on the mind tonight. I wonder if I can update my website on my tablet. The layout is shit on mobile devices, and I assume the tablet will suffer much of the same problems. But it would nice to be able to journal just from my bed. I also want to look into getting that comment box finally.

I got to try haggis and more mushy peas during the trip, but I can't believe I didn't have any baked beans...

I guess I'm starting the migration to Bluesky. I downloaded the app yesterday and have been checking it. Truly an end of era, just like when Tumblr all but nuked my blog.

I might take tomorrow night off because I didn't take any time off after coming back from the UK, and I'll finally get to draw tomorrow night.

Also just updated the journal entries sidebar on the homepage so that the entries aren't pushing Nyalias into oblivion.

I gave up updating this thing, but I'm back in the mood of wanting to journal things again. The recent trip with my friends and the advent of the recent... world events... have made me want to keep record of things in a quirky way again. I have a quirky little journal I bought during ArCon in July, and I am also using that; but that little guy is more for me. I also want to make a public journal cuz I'm a bit of an attention whore. Also I saw Carrie making DreamWidth journals, and I got inspired again.

So now I'm drinking some green tea and eating canned soup as I think about what's on my mind.

I think the first and foremost thing on my mind rn is that I really love and appreciate my friends. As soon as I came back to work, it was a very rough re-adjusting to not being surrounded by all my silly little ND friends. And I got con drop knowing I won't see any of them until I see Carrie again in March for Anime Ottawa. It was amazing getting to wake up to see my friends actually there in person and hang out in the living room together at night. We agreed we need a big hangout space at wherever we book next year. It's going to be insane, since we have at least 12, if not 14 people, signed up to a bloodpact. We aren't all going to be there the whole time, but we're edging towards needing a hype house.

Hanging out with my friends was so refreshing, it really made me realize how fucking miserable I am at my dayjob. I just don't fully vibe with anyone there. Our department supervisors are nasty ass middle managers. There's a cringe white boy (tm) loser who has a thing for me. On top of it all, a job I'd been interviewing for had turned me down. So now I'm back at square one trying to find a job that doesn't jokerfy me. The Events yesterday are only making me more miserable. It's all really making me consider just quitting my day job and supporting myself with dancing, so I have more time to spend time doing things I love. Because I really haven't done anything I love in a long time. Spending time with my friends always reinvigorates me to be creative again, and it's saddening to think that I can't remember the last time I sat down to really draw. I know I wrote a little bit a couple months ago when I first bought my tablet, but I want to just sit down and draw for hours again. This journal update is the latest fun little creative thing I've done for myself. Also Elodie promised me she'd publish a book if I wrote it, so now I want to write more again. She will live to regret this.

There's a 4000 sq. ft patch of land for sale for only $49000 nearby. What if I just buy that lol

On the topic of my job, everything I say is always so negative at work, because I'm that miserable. There's nothing for me to express positive joy about, and I think that's draining on me to never be able to say anything nice. I liked being able to say how pretty things were, or to genuinely laugh with my friends. The quips I make at work all have a level of sardonicism. I don't think I'm a super verbally positive person in general, but it's horrifying how bad it gets at work.

I hope to go back to messing around with my website a bit more. I think it's a cute little creative thing I can do quickly every night.

You know what else I keep thinking about. Enzy's mom cleaned our house while she was dogsitting for us. What the fuck.

Big sleepy rn... Me and Enzy did things two days in a row this weekend, and I am pooped. In good news, I have been introduced to the concept of putting ice cream into my milk tea, so I will definitely start doing that. Also introduced Enzy to ramen for the first time today. a weekend of excitement. Additionally, it's one of those days where I'm thinking really hard about this video. It's power can never be understated.

It's with that energy that I am considering doing web comics. A part of me wants to put my whole ass into it, but the other part knows that will absolutely sap the fun out of it for me. Also, frankly, I don't have the skill level to draw it the way I want to anyways lmao. But I'm also aware that if I keep fucking around I'll eventually get to where I want to be. Much to think about rn. So I guess it'd be more accurate to say, I'm turning into 9-yo Linn, where I just want to mass-produce original comics, and then I bring them to school and make the kids trapped at my table read them. The absolute zen state of just making bullshit that appeals only to me.

Also, yes, I am currently drinking a panera drink at 9 P.M.

Man, I'm really going through it, and truly the only thing keeping me sane rn is thinking aobut my silly little guys.

I've started making the pages for the storylines, and it brings me such joy tho ;w; The writing is incomprehensible, but I just wanted to set up little bios for them really. The rest is for vibes mostly to make it feel more complete. It's got me really thinking about how I want to do comics for them.

I'm also really excited to see everyone making their own websites!

Owen and Rainny suggested making a page full of linn reaction images, and I'm going to add that to my to-do list. Wait I also haven't ever finished my about page LMAO

NYEHEHEHEHEH.... I outlined the OC lore... It's very messy and probably doesn't make any sense to anyone except me, but it's there now. Now i can edit it for the future. The next thing I want to do is make the individual storylines' directory pages, and then the individual character pages. I honestly don't have enough to make individual stories' pages, except for the high schoolers and the two insane yaoi guys I talk about a lot. Unsurprising that the two most developed stories are the yuri and the yaoi ocs. Not really. It's because a lot of them are older stories that need reworking, but the inspiration hasn't struck for those yet.

ANYWAYS. I'm going to be out tomorrow. But after I come home and nap, I want to work more on this. I'm excited.

Uruoh... It's been a rough day... My car's been having issues, and I've been trying to take it in multiple times now. However, since they're unable to replicate what happens, they can't find out exactly what's wrong. Something's up with the temperature gauge or the thermostat, which is really dangerous in the summer. And whenever the weather gets hot, the temperature reading on the dashboard freaks out. I get the feeling it's flooding the engine with coolant, because I've also been measuring the temperature of the engine out of the heating vent; and when the dashboard reading drops, the heat from the air vents gets suspiciously cooler, too. But again, since they aren't able to replicate this at the shop... If my car blows up on the freeway, I'll fucking die, I guess.

Anyways, I had to take the bus to work this morning from the shop. And when I tried to take the bus back after work, they just drove right past me. And because it was rush hour, the Lyft was, like, $50 lmao... So I just ain't feeling it right now, on top of the shitty mood I've been in :(

At least I got to see my commission from Carrie this week. And we're going to do something on the weekend, so.

Tucks these sad emotions into my silly website.

I coded a page all by myself ;w; Or as much as was reasonable. Please don't look at the coding on the TMA page cuz you'll see how bad it is. BUT THE POINT IS. I made my own widdle elements and did different things with it!! Like I did that thing I kept saying about intra-page navigation. So now once I fill out the TMA page, you can jump around it like a Wikipedia page.

The next step will definitely be learning how to insert images nicely into text, like side-by-side. I want to drop some of my fanart into the TMA page lmao

But yeah ;w;;;; Feeling really good about this right now. It's COMPLETELY unusable outside of full-screen on the computer, but I can fuck around with relative sizing at a different time lmao The fact that it's a relatively functioning page with all the elements showing up is like. A huge step up for me. Cuz I started tonight shitting and crying over the main content section not being where I wanted it to be.

Next steps:

- Blingees >:0 for real this time

- I want to put what people said on twt as reviews on my webbed site

- How to put images next 2 text

Hewwo I stayed up all night webbing my site, and I think I do have something here hee hoo. I've added a music page. J is going to send me more nerd resources that I will see when I wake up. I'm going to be looking for a place to host images because I'm concerned it's making the site slower already. But ANYWAYS!! I've made a lot of progress, and I've avoided looking at a picture that I kind of just need to let sit so I don't overthink it.

I think I'm going to make an actual TMA opinion page and use that as my guinea pig for fucking around with my own layout creation! I'm excited to see more people make websites and also check out the ones from people who have already done so. Thank you Carrie for encouraging everyone to do this :3 I'm having fun.

Okay, I really need to sleep now or else my heart will give out.

I want to truly do it in a journaling fashion, where each entry is going to stand as it's own. So if I want to make an addendum or write something more even in that same day, I'll have to make a new post. Also doing it this way will push the posts down faster, so I'll have to learn how to do intra-page navigation faster. Otherwise, IDK how I'm gonna be able to scroll through this entire page lol I'll also need to work on multiple journal pages' navigations. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I've now set up the basic skeleton, I think? I might move the pages located within the site map into its own folder to make the editing page cleaner for me. Right now, I have only that one, so no biggie. Mostly I wanted to set up the skeleton of the site so I could drop the OC lore LMAO. I gotta find a page template I want to use for that, though.

Next things to look into:

- Gallery formatting

- Blingee alternative

- Intra-page navigation

Working on my webbed site y'all... I don't know shit about coding.

So far tonight, I've done the following:

- Worked on landing page

- Worked on nav bar

- Set up this journal page

Slowly working on this tho ;w;