Journal Entries

I accidentally put Enzy's heavy whipping cream in my tea instead of half-and-half. Mmmm. Creamy.

I've told practically everyone now, but I recently quit my job. I'd been planning to quit for a while now, but I was hoping to find another job before I did. Then, they lied to my face and tried to guilt-trip me for something, and I was like, nah, fuck this actually. I was able to tell them off in person, and it was extremely satisfying for both me and everyone else in the room.

It was a little disheartening, though, seeing everyone say don't retaliate. I know my friends just wanted to look out for me, but this was the perfect opportunity given that there were no stakes to my holding in this industry. I'm glad one of my bestest pals supported me and even immediately gave me ideas on how to make it as miserable as possible for them lol

Now that I'm a jobless leftist, I have time to maybe do creative things again while I look for another job. I'm still having to re-adjust my sleep schedule, though; it's slowly shifting.

I noticed that when I'm feeling down, I tend to get back into anime. Last time I got really into Golden Kamuy. This time, I binged all of the Dan Da Dan anime, and then I read all of the manga in one day. I don't think I'm gonna go apeshit over it like I do Golden Kamuy, though. None of the characters make me insane, probably because they're all children. Unfortunately, despite being Loli Linn(TM), I don't get emotionally invested into characters younger than me the way I do with characters around my age or older. I'm a fake lolicon... I'm sure 13yo me would've gone apeshit over the characters. This isn't to say it's bad. While it does have some conventional shonen jump serialization flaws, both the manga and anime are very fun, and it seems to be the anime that's getting the full pussy-in action sakuga treatment for this season. It's also subversive in a way that isn't annoying in the way that isekai titles fill me with an unbridled rage. A girl MC who's both smart and useful. The guy is the love interest for once.

It's just nice to get into something both ongoing and with good animation, because it really sucked how bad the GK anime was. Plus, by the time I got into it, the manga was over. I'm enjoying all the new manga made by people who grew up on the same stuff as me. And this will make it really easy to make merch for a popular anime for Anime Ottawa.

Unrelated, but my UBlock isn't working right on YouTube right now, so it's making watching vids a bit miserable. I wonder if I just need to update it or if I need to swap to a different ad blocker. Very funny that one of the ads I keep getting is an ad for an ad blocker lol...

As I'm no longer working a 9-5, I'm also picking up more dinner duties.

I also mistakenly called Fields of Mistria Mistholme in a previous entry. I was informed that I'd mixed up the name with a podcast oops.

Things I'm listening to:
- Mani Mani - r-906
- Otonoke - Creepy Nuts (the Dandadan op)
- APT. - ROSE & Bruno Mars
- WANNABE (Remix) (ft. Nicki Minaj) - ITZY (remix by revelmixes)

I've started playing Stardew Valley, and at the moment, I'm like "Hmm, will there be more violence."

Also tonight I saw Enzy making a grilled cheese, and he puts mayonnaise on the outside. This is a brand new science to me, and I have now tried it as well. Usually, I'm a butter guy, but I am always excited to learn of his white people sciences.

It was good.

My other new hobby today is watching caving accident videos. It doesn't give me anxiety because I would never go into a cave that isn't well-lit with handrails and fit for accident-prone small children. Being a pussy will save my life.

Unrelated to mayonnaise, something I've genuinely been thinking about is my friendship with the person I've been hanging out with. A couple months ago I started hanging out with a local queer fellow I met on a dating app, and I've been hanging out with them every week. However, I feel like I don't super click with them... Like they're a perfectly fine person and very chill. I have never had a single issue with them. On the contrary, I think they're really cool. But personality-wise, I don't feel the urge to go crazy, go stupid around them, which is really what I'm looking for. Going to the UK with my cool pals made me think about what I want in my relationships. It always does!! It always makes me think about how much I appreciate the silly mentally ill people in my phone. And how infrequently I am capable of vibing with people irl.

But yeah, so I've been thinking about how much I want to continue hanging out with this person :( I like being able to hang out with them, but I'm not a super social person if people aren't the ideal vibe for me. I know there are certain types of people who can derive social energy from hanging out with anyone, but I am not one of those people. I want to keep them in my life, but I don't think I can commit to hanging out every week. So I guess I must figure out how I want to break this to them...

Also unrelated to mayonnaise, I want to finally update my About page, but what am I even supposed to put on that.

This is my first weekend back from the trip. I haven't gone to my secondary job in like... four weekends now ;~; And I feel bad, but also it makes sense that I've been taking time to pack, then I was gone, and now I need time off to recover for my mental health. I feel BAD because I'm not MAKING MONEY.

But I'm sitting at my computer right now, and I have other stuff to work on.

To do list:
- Regency calendar piece
- Jonelias TWO sketch
- Work on my book
- Plan merch for Anime Ottawa

I'm thinking of getting into Stardew Valley. I love Minecraft, but also the FPS hurts my brain sometimes. And I want some variety. Does anyone else have suggestions? How is Mistholme going?

I also would like recommendations for tea blends!! I've been obsessed with the tea from the Manchester tea place, and I want some other funny tea blends. In fact, I've been so obsessed that I may have overdrank it this morning and got over-caffeinated. Then I went to bed with a headache and dipping blood sugar and woke up super anxious. Anyways, I'm drinking the rest of it right now.

Testing this. I'm updating this on my tablet rn. It's a bit difficult to copy code over.

test another line

LMAOOOOO

Hold up. The more I look into this plot of land thing I've been turning into a bit, the more it actually sounds like a good idea. It's actually not that far from civilation, and it seems cheaper to buy it and build on it than buying an established home. Will look more into this.

Don't have as much on the mind tonight. I wonder if I can update my website on my tablet. The layout is shit on mobile devices, and I assume the tablet will suffer much of the same problems. But it would nice to be able to journal just from my bed. I also want to look into getting that comment box finally.

I got to try haggis and more mushy peas during the trip, but I can't believe I didn't have any baked beans...

I guess I'm starting the migration to Bluesky. I downloaded the app yesterday and have been checking it. Truly an end of era, just like when Tumblr all but nuked my blog.

I might take tomorrow night off because I didn't take any time off after coming back from the UK, and I'll finally get to draw tomorrow night.

Also just updated the journal entries sidebar on the homepage so that the entries aren't pushing Nyalias into oblivion.

I gave up updating this thing, but I'm back in the mood of wanting to journal things again. The recent trip with my friends and the advent of the recent... world events... have made me want to keep record of things in a quirky way again. I have a quirky little journal I bought during ArCon in July, and I am also using that; but that little guy is more for me. I also want to make a public journal cuz I'm a bit of an attention whore. Also I saw Carrie making DreamWidth journals, and I got inspired again.

So now I'm drinking some green tea and eating canned soup as I think about what's on my mind.

I think the first and foremost thing on my mind rn is that I really love and appreciate my friends. As soon as I came back to work, it was a very rough re-adjusting to not being surrounded by all my silly little ND friends. And I got con drop knowing I won't see any of them until I see Carrie again in March for Anime Ottawa. It was amazing getting to wake up to see my friends actually there in person and hang out in the living room together at night. We agreed we need a big hangout space at wherever we book next year. It's going to be insane, since we have at least 12, if not 14 people, signed up to a bloodpact. We aren't all going to be there the whole time, but we're edging towards needing a hype house.

Hanging out with my friends was so refreshing, it really made me realize how fucking miserable I am at my dayjob. I just don't fully vibe with anyone there. Our department supervisors are nasty ass middle managers. There's a cringe white boy (tm) loser who has a thing for me. On top of it all, a job I'd been interviewing for had turned me down. So now I'm back at square one trying to find a job that doesn't jokerfy me. The Events yesterday are only making me more miserable. It's all really making me consider just quitting my day job and supporting myself with dancing, so I have more time to spend time doing things I love. Because I really haven't done anything I love in a long time. Spending time with my friends always reinvigorates me to be creative again, and it's saddening to think that I can't remember the last time I sat down to really draw. I know I wrote a little bit a couple months ago when I first bought my tablet, but I want to just sit down and draw for hours again. This journal update is the latest fun little creative thing I've done for myself. Also Elodie promised me she'd publish a book if I wrote it, so now I want to write more again. She will live to regret this.

There's a 4000 sq. ft patch of land for sale for only $49000 nearby. What if I just buy that lol

On the topic of my job, everything I say is always so negative at work, because I'm that miserable. There's nothing for me to express positive joy about, and I think that's draining on me to never be able to say anything nice. I liked being able to say how pretty things were, or to genuinely laugh with my friends. The quips I make at work all have a level of sardonicism. I don't think I'm a super verbally positive person in general, but it's horrifying how bad it gets at work.

I hope to go back to messing around with my website a bit more. I think it's a cute little creative thing I can do quickly every night.

You know what else I keep thinking about. Enzy's mom cleaned our house while she was dogsitting for us. What the fuck.

Big sleepy rn... Me and Enzy did things two days in a row this weekend, and I am pooped. In good news, I have been introduced to the concept of putting ice cream into my milk tea, so I will definitely start doing that. Also introduced Enzy to ramen for the first time today. a weekend of excitement. Additionally, it's one of those days where I'm thinking really hard about this video. It's power can never be understated.

It's with that energy that I am considering doing web comics. A part of me wants to put my whole ass into it, but the other part knows that will absolutely sap the fun out of it for me. Also, frankly, I don't have the skill level to draw it the way I want to anyways lmao. But I'm also aware that if I keep fucking around I'll eventually get to where I want to be. Much to think about rn. So I guess it'd be more accurate to say, I'm turning into 9-yo Linn, where I just want to mass-produce original comics, and then I bring them to school and make the kids trapped at my table read them. The absolute zen state of just making bullshit that appeals only to me.

Also, yes, I am currently drinking a panera drink at 9 P.M.

Man, I'm really going through it, and truly the only thing keeping me sane rn is thinking aobut my silly little guys.

I've started making the pages for the storylines, and it brings me such joy tho ;w; The writing is incomprehensible, but I just wanted to set up little bios for them really. The rest is for vibes mostly to make it feel more complete. It's got me really thinking about how I want to do comics for them.

I'm also really excited to see everyone making their own websites!

Owen and Rainny suggested making a page full of linn reaction images, and I'm going to add that to my to-do list. Wait I also haven't ever finished my about page LMAO

NYEHEHEHEHEH.... I outlined the OC lore... It's very messy and probably doesn't make any sense to anyone except me, but it's there now. Now i can edit it for the future. The next thing I want to do is make the individual storylines' directory pages, and then the individual character pages. I honestly don't have enough to make individual stories' pages, except for the high schoolers and the two insane yaoi guys I talk about a lot. Unsurprising that the two most developed stories are the yuri and the yaoi ocs. Not really. It's because a lot of them are older stories that need reworking, but the inspiration hasn't struck for those yet.

ANYWAYS. I'm going to be out tomorrow. But after I come home and nap, I want to work more on this. I'm excited.

Uruoh... It's been a rough day... My car's been having issues, and I've been trying to take it in multiple times now. However, since they're unable to replicate what happens, they can't find out exactly what's wrong. Something's up with the temperature gauge or the thermostat, which is really dangerous in the summer. And whenever the weather gets hot, the temperature reading on the dashboard freaks out. I get the feeling it's flooding the engine with coolant, because I've also been measuring the temperature of the engine out of the heating vent; and when the dashboard reading drops, the heat from the air vents gets suspiciously cooler, too. But again, since they aren't able to replicate this at the shop... If my car blows up on the freeway, I'll fucking die, I guess.

Anyways, I had to take the bus to work this morning from the shop. And when I tried to take the bus back after work, they just drove right past me. And because it was rush hour, the Lyft was, like, $50 lmao... So I just ain't feeling it right now, on top of the shitty mood I've been in :(

At least I got to see my commission from Carrie this week. And we're going to do something on the weekend, so.

Tucks these sad emotions into my silly website.

I coded a page all by myself ;w; Or as much as was reasonable. Please don't look at the coding on the TMA page cuz you'll see how bad it is. BUT THE POINT IS. I made my own widdle elements and did different things with it!! Like I did that thing I kept saying about intra-page navigation. So now once I fill out the TMA page, you can jump around it like a Wikipedia page.

The next step will definitely be learning how to insert images nicely into text, like side-by-side. I want to drop some of my fanart into the TMA page lmao

But yeah ;w;;;; Feeling really good about this right now. It's COMPLETELY unusable outside of full-screen on the computer, but I can fuck around with relative sizing at a different time lmao The fact that it's a relatively functioning page with all the elements showing up is like. A huge step up for me. Cuz I started tonight shitting and crying over the main content section not being where I wanted it to be.

Next steps:

- Blingees >:0 for real this time

- I want to put what people said on twt as reviews on my webbed site

- How to put images next 2 text

Hewwo I stayed up all night webbing my site, and I think I do have something here hee hoo. I've added a music page. J is going to send me more nerd resources that I will see when I wake up. I'm going to be looking for a place to host images because I'm concerned it's making the site slower already. But ANYWAYS!! I've made a lot of progress, and I've avoided looking at a picture that I kind of just need to let sit so I don't overthink it.

I think I'm going to make an actual TMA opinion page and use that as my guinea pig for fucking around with my own layout creation! I'm excited to see more people make websites and also check out the ones from people who have already done so. Thank you Carrie for encouraging everyone to do this :3 I'm having fun.

Okay, I really need to sleep now or else my heart will give out.

I want to truly do it in a journaling fashion, where each entry is going to stand as it's own. So if I want to make an addendum or write something more even in that same day, I'll have to make a new post. Also doing it this way will push the posts down faster, so I'll have to learn how to do intra-page navigation faster. Otherwise, IDK how I'm gonna be able to scroll through this entire page lol I'll also need to work on multiple journal pages' navigations. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I've now set up the basic skeleton, I think? I might move the pages located within the site map into its own folder to make the editing page cleaner for me. Right now, I have only that one, so no biggie. Mostly I wanted to set up the skeleton of the site so I could drop the OC lore LMAO. I gotta find a page template I want to use for that, though.

Next things to look into:

- Gallery formatting

- Blingee alternative

- Intra-page navigation

Working on my webbed site y'all... I don't know shit about coding.

So far tonight, I've done the following:

- Worked on landing page

- Worked on nav bar

- Set up this journal page

Slowly working on this tho ;w;